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20 Questions

What is your current state of mind?
My usual combination of elation and paranoia.

What are the components of bliss?
Actually, I’d rather have fun than be happy.

If you could invite anyone from history to dinner who would it be?
Depends how sharp the knives are.

What is the best piece of advice you were ever given, and from whom did you receive it?
“Don’t ever sell your business”- from a disbarred lawyer I really respect.

What is the one thing you’d change about yourself?
My height.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve heard said about yourself?
That I sleep in a coffin and guzzle blood. Ridiculous! I sip it, on ice, slowly.

What would it take to make you go, WOW!!!?
Someone being nice, for no reason at all.

Who are your real life heroes?
Leonard Cohen, Philip Roth, Norman Mailer, Abbie Hoffman.

What feature / quality do you find most interesting in another person?
A refusal to act their age.

What word or phrase do you most overuse?
I don’t think that’s printable in this publication.

What is your earliest memory of childhood?
Peeing on the bathroom wall when my mother tried to show off my potty training to my Auntie Ruthie.

You have $100.00, what do you spend it on?
A sleeve of a Brunello Cuccinelli sport jacket.

What has been your greatest memory?
Watching my son Jackson born wide-eyed and alert.

What would your autobiography be called?
Did it already - “Control Freaked” in 2002. But maybe “I Amuse Myself” would have been a better title.

What’s your pet peeve, what really ticks you off?
Pettiness in all its forms.

Who is your favourite fictional hero?
The leader of the Alberta Green Party.

Who is the most interesting person you’ve ever met?
Dr. Timothy Leary. I was his Canadian agent and we had many interesting evenings together. At least, I think we did.

You have an afternoon all to yourself away from everything / everybody, how do you spend it?
If it’s good weather, at the pool. If it’s bad weather, at the movies.

You arrive at the pearly gates, what does St. Peter say to you?
“You’re late!”

If the whole world were listening, what would you say?
Can you hear me at the back?

Mark Breslin